Monday, April 21, 2014

Okay, I need to address the big dragon in the room...

Can we just take a second and look at "The Hobbit." An AMAZING book. So good. Needs more credit. Needs to be read by like, everyone. Ever. Serious.

Now, let us look at the two movies that they are calling "The Hobbit."

I do not want to hear anything about the stupid appendix parts that they are adding. I want to talk about everything they have SO WRONG it makes me cringe and want to cry.

The first movie, I was so mad that they got the dialogue wrong when Gandalf showed up at Bilbo's, because, come on. How can you get this wrong? It was written for you. And was a pretty witty moment that made me immediately fall for the book. How dare you? So yea, I'm pretty salty about it. Still. Then it went along and it was ok, and suddenly we get closer to the end and all of a freaking sudden there are a bunch of freaking orcs everywhere and I'm like, "What the hell are you bloody doing???" You can't just put a species in that part that wasn't there. You just can't. Still, the ending was pretty okay, I just knew I couldn't see the second part in theaters, (which is where I saw the first part and my friend had to keep telling me to shut up) but I was resigned to watching.

The second part comes out. I wait for it to get out on DVD and then I keep procrastinating watching it. Finally, I go to my mom's house and it's just there and I sigh and take it home to put it in.


It was WORSE than the first part! HOW could it be worse???? Seriously, the entire freaking movie I'm sitting there going, "That didn't happen. That didn't happen. Okay you got the spider part, yay you. That didn't happen. That didn't happen. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL THE DWARVES AREN'T GOING TO THE MOUNTAIN?!?!"

I am SO disappointed in Peter Jackson right now. I feel betrayed. I feel like he slapped Tolkien in the face and said, "No bit**, I'm doing it my way." It makes me want to cry.

And the ending. Ughhh the ending. Noooooot a fan. Not a fan at all. Not even a cliff hanger. Not even really that awesome. Dragon is just like I'm gonna go kill everyone and flies off. Ugh.

Can I just point out how AMAZING this movie could have been? The dialogue is great, the action is awesome, the growth of the characters is moving (expect for the snafu with Thorin until someone practically slaps him in the face to wake up). The Hobbit is an amazing book, and done faithfully could be truly epic and be right on par with Lord of the Rings. It could be worthy of every oscar at the Academy Awards if it had been done faithfully to the book. I am just so sad that the fans aren't even being thought of.

I will still watch the third one, in hopeless hope that they will wake up and smell the book pages and come through with the last one, but in all honesty I am just prepared to hate it.

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